You’re in the Friend Zone, aren’t you? Yes you are, because you’re reading this. You’re either in the friend zone, have been there, or you have a friend who you want to help out because he’s been friend zoned. Don’t fret. There’s 3 types of friend zones and all can be dealt with. No need to mope or make funny memes about it. There’s a few secrets straight from the girls you must know.
If you’ve been friend zoned, it’s because of one of three things. In all cases, you should probably chill. It can be fixed!
Here’s the three types of Friend Zones and their cures:
ZONE ONE~ You’re Her Best Friend To help you guys out, I thought I’d clarify one thing:
Being in the friend zone is not necessarily a bad thing! One of the most common problems us girls have is that we fall madly in love with our best friend. My friends are always coming to me for advice because they have fallen in love with their guy-best-friend. It happens a lot more often than you think.
A guy best friend is someone who gets extremely close to us. He’s the “good guy”. The guy we can actually fart around and laugh with, without any fear of being judged. He’s the guy we are totally comfortable with because there was never any pressure of dating. There’s no pressure to impress a guy best friend~ we can just be ourselves. This closeness and freedom quickly becomes better and more desirable than going through the annoying process of dating and trying to get to know someone (who could turn out to be a jerk). With a guy friend, we’ve taken the time to slowly grow a relationship without the superficiality of infatuation. There’s a good chance that after a while, we’ll be crushing on you just as much as you’re crushing on us.
The Fix: Be a friend! Enjoy the time with her and get to know each other. If you start to get stressed about it, you’ll most likely treat her differently, and then you’ll ruin your chances of anything happening. Just enjoy your best friend, and build that closeness that might just slip you right into the “omg I think I love him” zone.
ZONE TWO~ Oops, Not All Pretty Girls Like You… The next kind of frienzone issue is simple: you might just be confused. To be brutally honest, not every pretty girl that talks to you is going to want to be your girlfriend. This is a fact we all experience. Guys and girls can be just friends, you know? It’s not her fault if you crush on the girl silently, then complain about it when nothing comes of it.
And you might say to yourself, “But I’m the nice guy! Why do they always date jerks?” And you might be a great guy. But trust me, chances are she’s not dating a jerk. She’s dating a normal guy who has seen way more of her bad side than you ever have. It only seems like he’s a jerk because she’s got no one else to complain to about her boyfriend when they’re fighting, so she goes to you. She goes to her girlfriends to brag about him, she goes to her guy-friend to bitch about him.
The Fix: Avoid thinking of all your girl-friends as: “they put me in the friend zone”. We don’t like that guy. We like to have guy-friends as well as girl-friends without pressure. You’re either confusing a friendship for something more, or taking things way too fast (See the above type of friend zone. It takes time to build a good relationship.) So, if you are currently friend zoned by more than one girl, you’re probably just crushing on every pretty girl that befriends you.
ZONE THREE~ You’re Crushing on a Diva Lastly, let’s not ignore the fact that you may just be a fool. Seriously. You might just be barking up the bitch tree. Crushing on a high-maintenance girl sucks. She won’t have any problem using you for whatever you let yourself be used for~ money, a ride to a party, co-signing for a cell phone contract… anything you offer, a conceited girl will take, and then ask for some more. There is a difference between crushing on your friend and just adoring the stuck-up girl who will drag you along.
The Fix: Learn to spot a Diva. She will be friendly with you only when she needs something. She will flirt with you and hint that something could happen between you two…only to yank that rug right from under you. Over and over. She might even use you to make that ex of her jealous.
But the biggest red flag is if you’re crushing on her based on looks alone. If she bugs you, but you think she’s fine so you put up with it, then you kind of deserve each other…
So that’s my 2 cents. Enough with the whining about the friend zone!
YG